Fear of Flying

July 14th, 2018Posted by Nancy

Just signed off on the proofs for the reprint of my story “Consent” for the new anthology Flight into Fright.  I’m very happy that this story will have a new life and share space with such incredible writers as Gemma Files and Nadia Bulkin.  You can preorder your copy at the link.

Here’s my intro to the story for the Discovering Japan short story collection.

The original idea for this grew out of the controversy surrounding the publication of American Psycho. While I’m not in favour of censorship, there were elements of horror fiction with which I was never very comfortable. The writers of the time were predominantly male though women were beginning to become a more important force in the genre. Many of the anthologies I was reading featured a steady stream of stories written by men about the murder of women. In many cases, the stories were from the point of the view of the killers, who had no trouble justifying their actions. I could never quite escape the awareness of my own vulnerability, both in the real world and in the universe these stories inhabited. I found myself profoundly ambivalent about the issues surrounding depictions of violence – and I still am.

 The story never quite hung together until I found out about the upcoming Horror Writers Association anthology called Deathport, which was about a haunted airport. Then it just clicked. They accepted the story but I never felt it fit in very well with the rest of the stories in that anthology and I’m happy to have another chance to present it to the world. Sadly, the issues I was trying to deal with don’t seem to have gone away.


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Music following words

June 10th, 2018Posted by Nancy

After reading Tracey Thorn’s memoir, Bedsit Disco Queen, I went in search of some of her new music and found her 2018 release, Record.  One listen to the song “Sister” and I was hooked. The rest of the album is just as good and includes songs about babies (Cos I didnt want my babies/until I wanted babies/and when I wanted babies/nothing else would do but babies), breaking up in the digital age (Is that me or Freud talking/or me and the wine?/I shouldn’t be clicking/on your new valentine),  the past (Where did we begin/back in the days we lived/inside each other’s skin), and MeToo (Oh what year is it/Still arguing the same old shit).   This is going to be in heavy rotation.  May we all have the courage to fight like girls.

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Words and Music

May 18th, 2018Posted by Nancy

By sheer coincidence, I’ve read three books by musicians in the last month. I can recommend all of them.

First up, Clothes, Music, Boys by Viv Albertine of the seminal punk band The Slits. This is a wry, raw, funny, and honest look at clothes (she provides a list of what she wore), music (wanting to make it, learning to make it, finding reasons to make it again), and boys (a who’s who of early punk that she played with, hung with, slept with, lived with, lost).

Next, Bedsit Disco Queen by Tracey Thorn of the post-punk band Everything but the Girl. She too is honest, witty, and self-deprecating, providing a glimpse into the grind to the top, the moment of unreal luxury at the peak, and the choices that change your life.

I loved both of these women and could completely relate to their desire to be musicians, to write songs, to be the one in the band (not the girlfriend of the one in the band). Though their lives were in many ways quite different (Thorn married her university sweetheart and writing partner, Albertine’s personal life was much less stable), they still end up in a place that many women recognize: dealing with loss, illness, children, and trying to find yourself again. They both did it, through music and prose.

And now for something completely different: Beautiful Scars by Tom Wilson. I’ve seen this shaggy-haired, gravel-voiced singer at numerous concerts by The Art of Time Ensemble. He shambles out, usually with a fur hat perched on his mane of dark hair, says “Andrew told me not to talk” and then proceeds to tells an amusing tale before launching into his song. (His rendition of Who by Fire by Leonard Cohen was amazing.) This autobiography is not only about his musical career but also his childhood and youth on the rough side of Hamilton, his battle with addiction, and – at its heart – the discovery about the truth of his family and origin.

Read them all.

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Upcoming Convention Appearance

May 5th, 2018Posted by Nancy

It’s been a while.  Our dance recital coincided with an ice storm but despite that we had a full audience and I only turned left instead of right once, so I considered that a success. If I come across a decent picture, I may just post it.

I’m happy to be returning to the Limestone Genre Expo in Kingston, Ontario the weekend of May 26/27.  It’s a lovely con that gets better each year while maintaining a great, intimate feel.  If you’re interested in sf, fantasy, horror, mystery or romance (or the intersections between them), it’s a wonderful way to meet local authors and publishers, take part in practical workshops, and enjoy the beauty of Kingston’s architecture and waterfront (and restaurants).

I’ll be taking part in three panels covering everything from Fairy Tales, horror for beginners, and women in Science Fiction. Hope to see you there.

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My dance debut

March 30th, 2018Posted by Nancy


It is almost upon me and I alternate between thinking “ok, I can do this” and “what on earth was I thinking?” It’s amazing how long two minutes can feel. My group is performing three pieces and I’m doing two dramatic bits: exhorting Spartan soldiers to battle and performing part of the opening monologue from Medea. I’m not worried about those, because I’ve had some practice at that sort of thing.

So in case you’re in Toronto on April 14th and have the urge to see a flamenco dance show (don’t worry, there are people who can actually dance quite well performing), you can get tickets here.

For a bit of inspiration, here’s a beautiful video from the 2018 Jerez Flamenco Festival.


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I’m only drowning…

March 3rd, 2018Posted by Nancy

Sadly, my goal to start as I meant to go on fell apart under the pressure of adding another job, an upcoming flamenco performance, and dental stuff to my schedule. On the other hand,I bought a fabulous coat from Annie Thompson and I can now pay for it.


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I’m only reading….

January 29th, 2018Posted by Nancy

I did read a bit last year. Ok, I read a LOT last year, but a good chunk of it was for my duties on the Sunburst Award jury.  Much of that reading was pleasurable (if you need something new, just check out the winners and finalists) but it was still a massive number of words to churn through between January and June.

As for the rest of my reading, the majority is done on my Kobo, with books I borrow from the very fine Toronto Public Library system (the largest neighbourhood-based library system in the world, according to Wikipedia).  I maintain a dislike of actually BUYING books for Kobo, because I fear that technological obsolesence will render them inaccessible, but I did spring for about 20 titles this year.  And I do continue to read actual, physical books on a regular basis.  My estimates for consumption for 2017 are:

Library digital books – 65  (thanks to the handy download folder on my computer)

Purchased digital books – 22

Physical books – 15 to 20

What stands out?

Novellas.  I love the easy availability of these longer works that ebooks allow.  I caught up on some award-nominated works this year and can recommend them all:

Binti – Nnedi Okorafor

The Ballad of Black tom – Victor LaValle

The Sorcerer of the Wildeeps – Kai Ashante Wilson

October – Michael Rowe

The Dream-Quest of Villitt Boe – Kij Johnson

Non-Fiction. I keep vowing to add more of this to my reading. Fortunately, there are no shortage of interesting suggestions from Lapham’s Quarterly and the related podcast The World in Time to keep me busy.

Chernobyl Prayer – Sveltana Alexievich. Heartbreaking, thoughtful, vivid and often poetic eyewitness stories about the 1986 disaster and its impact on the people around it.

Millennium – Ian Mortimer.  A survey of the key social and technological changes of the last 1,000 years

Between the World and Me – Ta-nehisi Coates’ letter to his son about the history and legacy of slavery and racism in the U.S.

The Righteous Mind – Jonathan Heidt. My attempt to understand why people would want to be conservatives.  I’m still not one.

Aloha Wanderwell: The Border-Smashing, Record-Setting Life of the World’s Youngest Explorer – Christian Fink-Jensen.  Aliases, escapes, sex, driving, mysterious deaths – this story has it all. Somebody make a movie of her life.

Novels.  For some reason, my reading this year seemed to bend towards the dark and foreboding.

Aurora – Kim Stanley Robinson.   An often grim look at the unlikeliness of being able to colonize other planets to escape our own mess.

Bright Black Air – David Vann.   This retelling of the story of Jason and Medea is a like an incantation.  Strange, disturbing, and beautiful.

The Carhullan Army – Sarah Hall.   Tough, bloody-minded, dystopic fiction set in the brooding hills of the Lake District.

Lincoln in the Bardo – George Saunders.  Weird, audacious, and compelling. Told by the ghosts who hover around Lincoln as he grieves for his son.

The Water Knife – Paolo Bacigalupi.  Water wars engulf the Western States.

And then I started 2018 with The Traitor Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickinson.

Somebody recommend something more cheerful to me, soon.





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I’m only singing …

January 8th, 2018Posted by Nancy

One of the not-to-be-missed events of the year is the annual ChiSeries Christmas bash.  This year, the theme was “Putting the X in Xmas” and included some incredible contributions, including:

  • Madeline Ashby doing a biblical rendition of “Go the Fuck to Sleep”
  • David Demchuk, very dapper,  traumatizing us for for life with the story of “Anoushka the Christmas Spider”
  • Jason Taniguchi sharing Fox Mulder’s reply to the little girl who wondered if there really is a Santa Claus
  • Don Bassingwaite revisiting two of his Darby Cavendish holiday classics
  • Kari Maaren making us laugh so hard at her Star Wars and evil Christmas Monster songs that we made her laugh
  • Mike Byrant leading us all in the chorus to The Atheist Christmas

The talented Gemma Files and I contributed a version of that beloved tale of Christmas extortion known as “Santa Baby” while channeling Harley Quinn (Gemma) and a beat poet (me).  Then the whole gang wrapped it up with a singalong of “Fairytale of New York.”  That’s Gemma owning the mic and me trying to hit the high notes.

A wonderful evening was had by all.  If you’re in Toronto next year, the third week of December, don’t miss it.

And here’s how Santa Baby sounds when it’s performed by the divine Miss Eartha Kitt.

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I’m only dancing…

December 22nd, 2017Posted by Nancy

So last February, after a year of saying “I think I’d like to do that”, I signed up for an introductory flamenco dance class at a local studio.  When the option came to do another four weeks with the same class, I signed up for that too. And then one more time.  I wasn’t really good at it but I liked it and I hadn’t had to make the decision to buy proper shoes and a skirt yet.

Then it was time to join the regular beginner class on Thursdays. I rapidly found myself out of my depth, in tears at the end of the class, and convinced I would never ever be able to make my feet move that fast. I was going to quit but my wonderful teacher suggested that I switch to the Wednesday class, which was now finishing it’s second round of introductory lessons.

That change made a huge difference and, almost casually, I went to Malabar and bought some generic dance character shoes.  I was reluctant to buy a skirt on ebay, Etsy or from Spain (which seemed to be the only options) so I had a friend’s dressmaker create one for me.  It even has a removeable red ruffle.

We’re supposed to do a recital at the end of February, which terrifies me, but I seem to just keep going to class.

Why do I like it?  It’s not because I’m any good at it. But it seems to be a dance form that values soul over perfection, that embraces the full range of women’s bodies and ages, and that, once in a while, lets me have a moment of grace.

It occurred to me the other day that flamenco is a bit like punk: it’s important to “mean it, man.”   I might not be able to stamp and clap in alternating rhythm but I can certainly try to mean it.

Here is the trailer for Carlos Saura’s 2010 film Flamenco, Flamenco, for a taste of what it can do.

P.S.  If you’re in Toronto and want to try this yourself, Arte Flamenco offers 4-week introductory classes on a regular basis. It’s addictive, though.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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Merrily we Nanowrimo along….

December 8th, 2017Posted by Nancy

I try to do something during Nanowrimo each year.  Not write a novel, of course. That would just be silly.

This year’s goal was 10,000 words and I managed it by writing enough each day I was off work to keep me up with my target word counts.  I built a spreadsheet for that because that’s what I do.  I tried not to count the “This sucks” and “I don’t know what happens next” as words but I’m sure a few of them slipped  in.

To keep me motivated, I used the WRITE OR DIE software, set for “Consequence”.  This means that if I stop typing for more than 30 seconds, there is a consequence. A big, ugly, terrifying consequence.  It also makes a nasty noise.

This is enough to get me typing frantically again as I strive to stave off the horrible creature.

The purpose of this misery is to scare my internal editor into retreat.  It worked well enough that I hit my target and, more importantly, made important discoveries about my characters and the plot.

Of course, a wee bit of … padding … creeps in during all of this. I could always tell which parts of Cold Hillside I wrote during Nanowrimo.  But that’s what editing is for.


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