In Memory of
Elizabeth Louise (Betty) Baker
July 10th, 1934 to August 26, 2004
Obituary
At the Markham-Stouffville Hospital on Thursday, August 26,
2004. Beloved wife of Bill. Dear Mother of Nancy and her husband
Richard Shallhorn, Jim and Diane. Loving sister of Aileen, Mary, Judy,
Carolyn, Ian, Jim, John, Bob and Paul. Predeceased by her parents Earle
and Margaret and brothers David and Peter. She will be sadly missed and
fondly remembered by her many nieces, nephews and extended family members.
Betty graduated from Aurora District High School and Toronto Teachers
College. She taught in the North York and Waterloo County Boards of
Education. She played an active role in the church and community life in
Markham, Marietta, Georgia and several other communities. Friends will be
received at Thompson Funeral Home, 29 Victoria Street, Aurora (905-727-5421) on
Sunday from 2-4 and 7-9. Funeral service to be held in the chapel on
Monday 1 p.m. Internment Kind City Cemetery. Reception to follow at Laskay
Hall. As expressions of sympathy, donations to the Markham-Stouffville
Hospital or charity of one's choice would be appreciated.
Funeral Service Bulletin (PDF)
Words of Remembrance
Nancy Baker (Betty's Daughter)
Sometimes, in the midst of
taking something away, the universe gives something back.
In early August, Richard and I had to move out of our condo with the
renovations on our new house unfinished, so we moved in with Mom and Dad.
Being able to spend these last few weeks with them has been a gift for
which I am incredibly grateful. I am
also grateful that it never crossed my mind that, if I needed them, no matter
the circumstances, they wouldn’t be there.
This is a testament to the love they shared and the love they built
together.
I never doubted that love,
despite the fact that Mom, when told that 73% of parents in an Ann Landers
survey said that they would not have children over again, famously said:
“Of course I would have children. I
just wouldn’t necessarily have you three.”
She told me recently that she was sorry, that she shouldn’t have said
that. I replied that I had always
assumed she was joking – and besides, if she took it back, I’d lose a really
good story.
Everyone knows that family – both the immediate one of Dad, Jim, Diane
and I – and the extended one of the glorious, sometimes unruly, certainly
unique Scott-Hunter clan was the core of Mom’s life.
It’s hard to imagine a Christmas at Laskay Hall without her organizing
us all, singing carols enthusiastically, flitting about to make sure that she
spoke to everyone. She was usually
the first person to arrive and the last person to leave – as those of us in
the family without cars can personally attest.
I’ll miss our “scrapping days”, which were always as much about
family time as they were about getting our books done.
We went through those books on Friday night in search of images for our
posters. They are wonderful personal
chronicles of my parents’ lives and travels that we’ll treasure forever,
made all the more precious because they also show her creativity, her love of
nature, and her joy in the simple pleasures of daily life.
When I was a teenager, I once told Mom that I didn’t want to grow up to
be like her. Now that I’m older
and, I hope, a bit wiser, I recognize the goodness of who she was.
She wasn’t perfect, she was only human like the rest of us, but she was
good. As a writer, I know a lot of
adjectives, but sometimes the simplest word is the most powerful and the truest.
She was good wife, a good mother, a good sister, a good aunt, a good
friend. I now realize that that is a
tribute worth aspiring to.
So goodbye Mom. We’ll miss
you – and we promise to be good.
Jim Scott (Betty's Brother)
Good afternoon everyone.
We have gathered here today to celebrate the life of Elisabeth Louise
“Betty” (Scott) Baker.
We are her family and her friends – the people who knew and loved her
so much. Our lives have been
enriched because she shared her life with us.
While we are saddened by her passing, I know that Betty would want us to
remember the many good times we had together.
In her upbeat, courageous way, she would encourage us to “carry on”
and to continue to gather, sharing our grief in sad times and our happiness in
good times.
Betty had a strong faith. She
said she was ready to go to “the other side” and looked forward to reuniting
with those in her family who had gone before.
Betty was a catalyst in arranging many clan activities – picnics,
reunions, special birthdays and anniversaries, Christmases etc.
Speaking of Christmases, Bill was telling me that the only time Betty
ever asked him to drive faster was on the way to the hall on Christmas Day.
Nothing was every too much work or too far away for her to help with the
success of the occasion.
During recent visits, we would reminisce about our childhood years.
Betty and I were quite close in age.
We were good buddies and did many of our chores as a team. We didn’t
have TV or computer games and so, for fun, we made up our own games as we
worked.
Betty reminded me that the two of us used our own language to
communicate, but only with each other – few others could understand us.
I think Dad explained it to us and, with practice, we became very good at
speaking “Pig Latin.” It sounds
like this – “Ancay ouyay peaksay igpay atinlay?”
Try to say that fast!
We continued to be close throughout elementary and high school and during
the beginning years of teacher training and work in the big city of
Toronto
.
I still remember when she confided in me that she had gone ice skating at
the Bloor Street Terrace and had met the greatest guy.
His name was Bill and the rest is history.
Betty and Bill’s family life started out in Kitchener/Waterloo.
Nancy, Jim and Diane came along. They
had many diverse interests ranging from such things as writing, traveling,
skiing and the love of horses. They
all enjoyed visiting their parents, especially in sunny
Atlanta
.
Betty’s sense of adventure and her willingness to adapt were evident
when Bill was posted to
Georgia
on business. They continued to keep in touch by returning home often and their
home in
Georgia
was a welcoming stopover for many friends and relatives who were traveling
south.
Living in
Georgia
also provided them with opportunity to enjoy a longer season for one of their
favourite pastimes – the game of golf. When
planning trips and vacations, they usually managed to work some golf into their
travel plans. Their skill at the
game attests to the face that “practice makes perfect” – or almost!
Each of us will cherish our own individual memories of this very special
lady to whom we say goodbye today. She
will continue to warm our hearts with happy times remembered.
She leaves the world a better place because of the life she lived and the
love she gave us all.
Marion Wells (Betty's Friend)
My sincere thanks to Bill and
the Baker/Scott families for allowing me this privilege of a tribute to a very
special lady.
Betty and I have journeyed
together for over 50 years. What
began with a trip on a history scholarship to
New York
and the United Nations became a life-long friendship.
Forty-nine years this coming Friday Betty walked with me down the aisle
as my bridesmaid on my wedding day. We
were of kindred spirit.
In the spring of life
In the flower of youth
Everything is bright and new
In the summer of life
Time of growth and change
Each day brings new dreams to pursue
In the autumn of life
There’s a settling down
Contentment and sureness in what we do
In the winter of life
Comes peace and wisdom
Time to relax and reminisce too
But with passing of these seasons
Life is still not done, not through
For there is yet another season
When each spirit is renewed
And it is in this calm fifth season
In this hopeful second spring
A time of cleansing and rebirth
A time of new awakening
Each person’s life comes full circle
Even as the seasons do
To start another different life
Much better than the one we knew
I bring you Betty’s symphony
To live content with small means
To seek elegance rather than luxury
Refinement rather than fashion
To be worthy of respect, wealthy not rich
To think quietly, talk gently, act frankly
To listen to the birds, babes and sages with an open heart
To see the stars and flowers open to the sun, grass, and bees in summer dress
To walk in a garden full of produce large and small
To bear all cheerfully, do all bravely, await occasions, never hurry
To let the spiritual, unbidden unconscious grow through all the common things
that count so much through life
There is a plan far greater than the plan I know
There is a landscape broader than the one I see
There is a haven where storm-tossed souls may go
Some call it death - I call it immortality
Some call it death, this seeming endless sleep
I call it birth, the soul at last set free
Tis hampered not by time or space
I weep for my loss. Why weep? This is immortality
Farewell dear friend, ‘twill not be long
Your work is done, now my peace rest with thee
Your kindly thoughts and deeds they will live on
This is not death - It is immortality
Farewell dear Betty, the river winds and turns
The cadence or your song wafts near me
Now you know the thing we all shall learn
There is no death – just immortality
Elizabeth Louise – Betty – Scott Baker
I hear your voice
I see your smile
I experience your laughter
We all have a room full of beautiful memories
We count ourselves abundantly blessed to have known and loved
this very special lady
This is immortality
Funeral Meditation by the Rev. Susan Griffith (Betty's Niece)
At times like these, after the loss of a loved one, our eyes are so tear-filled
that we wonder how we can keep going. But the grief- filled memories
gradually give way to happier memories, and it eventually DOES get better.
We are called to remain aware of the wonder all around us. We are told to
love freely, and to accept love easily. Jesus urged us to love with all
our heart, with all our mind, with all our strength, and our neighbour as
ourselves.
Paul wrote to the Romans
that he was sure that neither death nor life nor angels nor principalities nor
things present nor things to come nor powers nor height nor depth nor anything
else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ
Jesus our Lord. And he wrote to the Corinthians his famous passage about
love. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all
things. Love never ends. Today we have gathered to say farewell to Betty,
someone loved and cherished, who shared our lives and who brought joy to our
hearts. Love awaited our coming into this life, and welcomed us with open arms.
A God who put such love into our hearts is even more loving still. Love
can never lose its own, because love is of God, and God is eternal. Betty
and all our other loved ones on the other side of death are now at home with
God, awaiting our arrival and the joyful reunion we will know then.
For now, we come to
God to seek comfort for our grieving souls, to seek assurance that love will win
out over death, that in the end, the love God shows all of us in Jesus Christ
defeats the forces of death and chaos that threaten to consume us. Human beings
are creatures of order. We like to have a place for everything, and everything
in its place. We order our everyday lives so that there aren't a whole lot
of surprises and we expect our lives to reflect this orderly procession. Yet our
lives are never as blessed or as sensible as we want them to be. In spite of our
best efforts, in spite of every rampart we erect to keep the swirling chaos that
is the world at bay, sometimes there is an explosion that shatters our hopes and
dreams and plans for our futures, for our families, and for ourselves. Like
storms that erupt out of nowhere, cancer epitomizes the chaos that corrupts,
consumes and destroys. Cancer is the disease of senselessness. Cancer is
the disease that interrupts the normal workings of our meticulously timed
bodies.
We look to the
medical profession with fearful hope that order can be reestablished, that
through the knowledge and devices that humanity has wrought, we can get back on
track in order to finish living our lives the way they should be lived, but we
often find no miracles there.
Betty had plans for
the future. She wasn't expecting to have her vibrant and energetic life cut off
so abruptly. So we gather, as her family and as her friends, in the wake
of the storm that has passed through our lives. We gather to share our loss, our
grief, and our horror at what the forces of chaos and destruction have wrought.
And we gather in the presence of God for an explanation and comfort and the
assurance that even in this seemingly meaningless event, God is in control. We
cry out to God, to the God who reached into the chaos in the beginning, whose
Spirit hovered over the waters of the deep and brought order before time even
began. We cry out in anger, in pain, in grief. We are facing one of
the storms of life as we stand looking into the valley of the shadow of death,
shaken by its reality, shaken by Betty's death.
And we can find our comfort in God's
response to our cries. We are promised that in the fullness of time we
will be reunited, we are promised a time when grief will be transformed to joy,
when despair will change to hope, when out of death will come life. We
can, like the disciples and David, fear no evil, if we know that God is with us.
And the presence of God with us is something Jesus provided and offers to
everyone. We are promised by the one who reached into the chaos in the
beginning and created all the universe, we are assured by the one who vowed
never to leave us alone that this is not the end. When God is with us,
there is no need to fear anything, including death, no matter what our
circumstances may be. The comfort we are given, the promise that can
sustain us, the knowledge that can form the basis of meaning in this chaotic
time of turmoil and confusion and fog, can be found in the unending,
immeasurable love God has for each and every one of us. It is an
unconditional love, a love that triumphs over all pain and sadness and grief and
despair. Such is the love of God. And the promise is fulfilled in the
assurance that God has defeated the powers of death and chaos and the separation
we endure with the passing of loved ones is only temporary. So we can step
back, in this time of confusion and grief, and when the dust settles we can
reflect that Betty is in God's loving hands, we can find peace in the
certainty of the promise that Betty is in God's loving care. In life, in death,
in life beyond death, God IS with us. We are not alone. So we gather
today to bid farewell to a beloved woman, and three things remain. The faith
that the love of Jesus Christ will rule our lives. The hope and promise of our
reunion, the certainty that this is not good-bye, but only see you later.
God WILL be with us until we meet again! And finally we are left with the
love that we have for Betty, the love Betty had for us, the love we have for
each other, and the love God has for us all in Jesus Christ. Thanks be to God.
Amen
Farewell from Bill
It hardly seems possible that it was only three months ago
that we walked vigorously along the Irish Coast, and you “grasped my palm”
to protect me from the dangers of the Fairies’ Bridge. Then we strolled hand
in hand, watched the sun set into the sea, and marvelled at God’s handiwork.
Now I look forward to the day when we walk hand in hand again, in a place even
more beautiful than the coast of Ireland.
Au revoir, my love
Bill
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