I can’t count the number of times I’ve read Nicolas Stuart Gray’s Mainly in Moonlight. I know that I took it out of the North York Public Library Children’s Section so many times the librarians must have wondered why my parents didn’t just buy me a copy. (Actually, I’m not sure why either. My father worked in publishing until I was in my mid-teens and we were always surrounded by books, but for some reason it never dawned on me to ask them to get this one for me. I later bought my own copy at a used book store).
It was probably my first experience with a talented writer taking all the conventions of well-known fairy tales and playing with them with subversive glee. If it was, then the experience “took”, as this is still something I love. In this collection of short stories, you’ll find wit, beautiful prose, sorrow, feminist heroines (before I knew there was such a thing and that it would matter to me so much), love, magic, cats, sorcerers, goats, demons and more. Find a child you love to give it to – or to read it aloud to. Or, oh hell, just buy it for yourself.

One of my earliest reading obsessions – and on that has a had an ongoing influence on my writing – is fairy tales. My family had two collections that contained the classic stories, along with some more obscure tales, and while I can’t remember the titles, I can still see the illustrations clearly. I’m still a sucker for an interesting retelling of these stories and “A Terrible Beauty” is my take on Beauty and the Beast.
One of the things that I realized as I got older was that I didn’t really relate to the princesses. Possibly as a result of the pernicious influence of Disney, I perceived all princesses as blonde, blue-eyed, pretty and rather helpless. As it was apparent from an early age that I was never going to be blonde and pretty and when I was young my aspirations ran to starship captain or superheroine rather than princess (more on that later), I ended up with a secret sympathy for the Evil Queens and Wicked Fairies. At least they had power and agency within the stories. They caused things to happen, rather than passively waiting to be woken with a kiss or doled out as a reward to an enterprising third son. The fact that they were very rarely blond and pretty but dark and beautiful may have swayed me. I stood no more chance of being dark and beautiful than I did of being blond and pretty but that was far closer to my idea of beauty. Many years later I realized how much my mother’s looks had influenced that view, especially since I had failed to inherit her black hair and cheekbones.
Of course, the best characters are far more complex than that. Even blonde princesses have hearts and souls and secret shadows, sometimes evil is simply evil and magic, while a fine weapon in fairy tales, is a poor substitute for political equality. The endless retelling of fairy tales by writers, the shifting of sympathies and meanings between Princess and Queen, proves the power both of those archetypes have for so many of us.
A few years ago, I came across a t-shirt with the phrase “Evil Queen” on it. Of course I bought it.

My favorite fairy tale reimaginings:
Red as Blood, Tanith Lee
Beauty, Robin McKinley
The Bloody Chamber, Angela Carter
Deerskin, Robin McKinley

I’ll be doing my first reading in two years on August 8th as part of the ChiZine reading series. If you’re in Toronto, come by and catch Carolyn Clink, Tanya Huff, Kari Maaren and me do our thing at:
The Augusta House, 152A Augusta Avenue, Toronto, ON
8:00 start

Now I just have to decide what I’m going to read.

Squirrel Nutkin

I was thinking about the early influences that have informed my reading and writing choices and shaped the kind of art I love so I’ll be posting on that topic over the next while.

My official bio always said “Nancy blames her love of horror on the first horror story she read – “The Tale of Squirrel Nutkin”. I included that because it was fun and flippant, but also because it shows that, as a child, you will find all sorts of things scary. I remember being horrified at the illustration of the owl holding Squirrel Nutkin down by the throat. Looking back, I realize that the story might also have disturbed me because it was about being punished for breaking the rules, for rebelling (well, and for being an obnoxious squirrel-brat). To this day, it’s a safe bet that no one would ever describe me as a rebellious rule-breaker. I dutifully follow the instructions, stand in the lines and don’t complain. Perhaps I’m afraid that someone will rip my metaphorical tail off.

That sums up my “career” as a visual artist. While I like art, own a fair bit of it and am known to swoon over lovely shot composition in films, I’m also the person who passed art in public school only because I handed in all my assignments. My creative activities have always been literary, except when I took an oil painting course as part of my research for A Terrible Beauty. That experience proved I could not draw and even falling back on the tried and true Neil Young line “That’s my style, man” and claiming a deep love of abstract art (which is true) did not really help.

Then my mother took up scrapbooking with my aunt and pretty soon I was going along, mostly as an excuse to hang out with my family, gossip, and eat very well indeed. To my surprise, I enjoyed the process itself. I happily sat there moving coloured paper and pictures around on a page until I was satisfied with them, even if my explanations for my choices sometimes baffled others (“The red and yellow strips fanning out from top of the page represent the rays of the god Amon-Ra.” Though, to be fair, that was in a scrapbook about a trip to Egypt.) I even liked the physicality of it and still prefer the old-fashioned method of playing with paper and scissors to the new electronic options. I realized that it was because my work life is lived with numbers and my other creative life with words and I needed to exercise that other part of my brain, as inadequate as it might be.

When I decided that one of the main characters in my current novel was going to spend part of her time repairing a mosaic, I did what I always do – I took a course. I turned out to be much better at mosaics than at oil painting and proceeded to make a flaming heart cocktail table and some skeletal fish panels on my own. I entered my sugar skull in the AWOL Gallery Square Foot Show and someone actually paid $200 for it. With my subsequent entries (a stylized Louise Brooks image and an attempt at an abstracted Provence landscape) my fuzzy artistic vision definitely exceeded my technical abilities and those currently adorn the walls here at home.

I bailed on last year’s event but finished off the mosaic this year and decided to enter it. Again, the image in my head worked better than the finished creation, but at least it’s done. Now I just have to starting finding a space on the wall for it…

If you want to see the real thing, go to the Awol Gallery Site for details.
You can see some of the earlier creations in past posts on this site.

Welcome to my new blog-friendly site!
After procrastinating for far too long, I’ve finally had my site updated into a format I can actually use. Thanks to Deane Hughes and Gillian Holmes for the design and execution.
So what’s new?
– Both Discovering Japan and Chrysanthemum Shadows are now available in e-book format (see Where to Get My Books to order). There are also still some copies of the beautiful hardcover edition of Chrysanthemum Shadows available.
– I’m making progress on the fourth novel, attempting to wrangle the vast number of words, dead ends and “what happens now?” sections into something coherent. The good news is that I don’t always think it sucks.
– I’m taking part in the AWOL Gallery Square Foot Show again this summer
– During my long web silence, I’ve learned to grow vegetables, make jam and pickles, and do a decent back bend and headstand.
Thanks to everyone who continued to send me kind e-mails during the last few years. I hope 2012 and 2013 will bring some positive news about what I’ve been working on.

Where I’ll be this Fall

All over town, it seems.

First up, I’ll be at the Royal Sarcophagus Society’s booth at The Word on the Street on September 27th, Queen’s Park, Toronto.

Then, we dive right into the Scary Monster Beautiful show by my friends at The House of Pomegranates. This 9-day show will feature art by Sarah Pomegranate and Magda Trzaski, fashions by Elizabeth Pomegranate, photographs by Jowita Bydlowiska, music by Kalte and DJ Roomtone and a special Gothic & Lolita Tea Party featuring the girls of CyanideNoire. I’ll be reading during the “Beautiful Monsters” literary night on October 16, along with Sandra Kasturi, Liisa Ladouceur, Andrew Pyper and more. This won’t be like any reading you’ve ever been to, trust me. Sarah’s original illustration for Chrysanthemum Shadows plus some new art for a manga version of A Terrible Beauty will also be on display. Tickets for the reading and other events, plus more information on the whole show, are available at www.houseofpomegranates.com.

Finally, on October 25th, I’ll be at the Bizarre of the Bazaar, hanging out at the Royal Sarcophagus Society Booth. Last year’s event was a huge success and this year’s bazaar, under the direction of the fine folks at Plastik Wrap, should be even better. For more information and a list of vendors, visit www.thebazaarofthebizarre.org.

My apologies for the extremely long time it’s taken me to update this site. Technological challenges, a demanding work schedule and sheer inertia were the main culprits. But there are changes underway …

This lovely new site design is just the first step to my joining the current century so stay tuned for more transformations.

I’ve signed up to participate in the AWOL Gallery Square Foot Show again and will be doing a mosaic of either Louise Brooks or a flaming heart. Come to the show in August and see which one it was.

Some personal resolutions will, I hope, give me more time and energy to write and perhaps I’ll have better news to report on that front soon.

If you’re in Toronto, come by the House of Pomegranates Press booth at the Small Press Fair on June 13th, check out the current books and say hello.

Small Press Fair
June 13, 2009
Toronto Reference Library
789 Yonge Street
9:00 am to 5:00 pm

The new book is off at the printers, but here’s a sneak preview of the cover and one of the illustrations. If you’re in Toronto, come see me at The Word on the Street at the Royal Sarcophagus Society booth and be sure to check out the “Bazaar of the Bizarre” on October 19th.

The big news for 2007 was the publication of my short story collection, containing almost all the short stories I’ve written, some memories and comments about each and an excerpt from “Cold Hillside”, the novel in in progress. There’s a trade paperback version with the cover you see below and a limited number of hand-bound hardcover copies created by David Keyes. There are a few copies available at Bakka Phoenix Books in Toronto or you can order on-line through the Royal Sarcophagus Society (see link below).

On the novel front, this year was even slower than last year, despite the fact that the lovely sex and death parts were on the agenda. Here’s hoping for a better 2008.

For more information or to order your copy, go to www.therss.com.